Putting my thoughts into words always has soothing effect upon me.  When I am able to accurately describe how I’m feeling about a situation it’s like a weight being lifted off.  It’s amazing how wonderful it feels.  It doesn’t make me forget about my initial emotions of course, but there’s something satisfying about clearly stating my thoughts that makes them seem less confusing and overwhelming.  It’s like untying a particularly complicated knot and being able to see the string in a simple straight line again.  All of the content is still there, but it’s laid out in an orderly and understandable manner instead of being so tangled up that you can’t tell which bits are connected and which aren’t.  Before I start writing, the thoughts are just bouncing around in my head, and I have no chance of making any sense of them.  With all that’s been happening in my life I definitely need to make more time for writing.  It’s not always something that I feel inclined to do, but it always helps.  My abbreviated “Diaries of a Business Traveller” (March 2010) was an ambitious attempt to continue my regular postings through a difficult personal time.  It was cut short after even more devastation entered my life.  And I never finished my holiday retrospectives for the same reason.  I look back at my post about our trip to Las Vegas longingly. I miss those days of blissful happiness. I miss the person I was when I wrote that post. I think I will always mourn a little the life I used to lead and the happiness I used to have. But the more I write about it the more I understand the process I’m going through to get from where I am today to where I want to be. It won’t be the same place I was before and I’m not sure the Sun will ever seem quite so bright, but it will shine on me again. And I promise to keep writing about my journey. Maybe when I get to the end all of this will make sense.

3 thoughts on “Writing

  1. Thinking of you! I’m not a big praying person (prayer? prayor? person who prays?), but I’m praying for you during this time. I really hope things get better soon or at least become less bad. I feel for you whatever you are going through as its evident it’s very tough. May the sun shine again very soon! And as with all difficult times, we always come out stronger on the other side, right? Hang in there girly! You’re one tough cookie!

  2. I’ve been keeping you in mind as well. I know things are very difficult, and it’s not as easy to write about things now, but from experience I know it can help. Rest assured, it’s going to get better eventually.
    Hang in there!

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