Delusional

Back in 2001 when I was at intern at Boeing my roommate was tall, thin, and gorgeous. We didn’t get along at all, but I couldn’t deny that she was attractive. Fortunately we successfully co-existed, mostly because she spent a lot of weekends away at her parent’s house. This may have been the only thing that kept us from killing each other. One weekend when she was gone she had left a pair of jeans on her bed. As interns we lived in two-bedroom corporate apartments that housed four girls each so we had to share a bedroom with someone else. Very dorm-like with the twin beds. But anyway, back to the story. I remember being so jealous of my roommate’s thinness that I decided to try on her jeans and see how far away from fitting in to them I was. So I slipped them on. They were way too long for me because she was about 4 inches taller than me, but other than that I was shocked when they fit! I was sure I wouldn’t be able to button them, but I was wrong! I wore the same size jeans as my skinny roommate! Woohoo! So what did that say about me? I thought I was much larger than she was, but in reality we were about the same size. I had a completely warped mental picture of myself. (In my defense her jeans were a brand that used waist measurement as the size and all of my jeans were from Old Navy which had an almost meaningless even-numbered sizing convention.) Sadly I still have bad body image, even after all these years. It’s just so hard to unlearn after it’s been learned. But I’m working on it, and I probably always will be.