Thinking – 01.20.01

Quote of the Day:
” ‘The bureaucratic mentality is the only constant in the universe.’ ”
Mr. Scott, “Star Trek IV”

Maybe another reason my sisters think I am a nerd is my devotion to my webpage. I added a counter to this page last week and that proved my suspicion that very few people actually visit my diary. That doesn’t make much difference to me since I established this page for my family and my friends (a small number) and, of course, for myself. Recently it seems I have had either a great amount of time to spend writing for my diary or a great number of things to think about. Maybe both, since I have banned IPPD as a topic and since I haven’t been spending as much time working on it in the past few days. I know that I posted a new entry yesterday but I have a lot on my mind and I thought writing would help me sort things out.

It is my mom’s birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMY! I won’t tell you how old she is because she might not appreciate it being broadcast all over the internet. In any case, I called home tonight to see if my dad had talked to her (she is on a trip) and we discussed an issue that has been of prime concern in my family lately. If you live in the state of Florida you have probably heard that the Board of Regents will be dissolved as of this summer, I have mentioned this issue here before, and my dad will lose his job because of our governor’s wonderful idea. My dad has two loose job offers already in the works – one at Florida Gulf Coast University in Ft. Myers and another at Florida State University in Tallahassee. The job at FGCU is able to offer my dad his current salary but then my family would have to move to South Florida. This is something I know my mom is against. If FSU can’t come up with that same amount of money then at least my parents will be relocating sometime in July. The other day my dad told me he would rather stay in Tallahassee since he and my mom have been living there since before I was born. Nothing has been decided yet but in the next couple of weeks my dad will probably hear from FSU about the salary and everything will be resolved.

I have rather a lot of anxiety when I think about this situation. As I have mentioned before, I was born in Tallahassee and it is the only home I have ever known. The idea of moving at all makes me nostalgic and sad but if my family moves to Ft. Myers it will be when I am in California and that is what concerns me most. I will be going to Los Angeles in late May, my family will be leaving Tallahassee in July, and when I get back to Florida my home won’t be where it always has been before. The thought of having to go south to go home from Gainesville is a strange one. I have never envied people who have that situation because the highways are so crowded going south during the holidays. Now it might be my turn to know how that feels. I guess the only thing you can count on is change but up until now Tallahassee has been the one constant in my life and I hate to let it go. Sometimes I feel like I am at a point in my life where everything is transient – my address, my friends, my possessions. I don’t know if this normal for a twenty-two year old but I suspect that it is.

I can’t get that Christina Aguilera song, “Come on Over Baby,” out of my head. It was on the Disney Channel this afternoon and the tune is way too catchy to forget so easily. I didn’t turn on Disney to watch music videos, but for a great show called “Totally Circus” about kids who spend the summer putting on a circus in the northeast. Doesn’t that sound like fun? I have often wondered what kind of stuff I would have gotten in to if I had grown up somewhere other than North Florida. The summers after eighth, ninth, and tenth grades were spent at Girl Scout summer camp (Camp For All Seasons in Tallahassee) as a junior counselor and I loved every minute. I was an aquatic aide so I spent all of my time either at the pool teaching swimming lessons or the lake teaching canoeing strokes. When I came home I was very blonde and very tan – not a look I am very fond of but the time spent getting that look was great. My camp name was Holly, in case anyone wanted to know. (We kept our real names a secret from the campers because it was a ton of fun.) Anyway, I only mentioned all of this because “Totally Circus” reminded me of those summers I spent in my bathing suit. Watching that show I am seriously jealous of the talented kids who had the opportunity to experience something that exciting. I like to think I would have been good enough at something to be a part of that circus if I were the right age and in the right geographic location. Also, since I love ballet so much, I often think I could have been a decent figure skater if I had grown up farther north where it stays below freezing for longer than a few hours at a time. Can you tell that the US Figure Skating National Championship was on TV as well? I have just been bombarded with the media today.

Speaking of the media, tonight we have a new president, George W. Bush. Don’t blame me, I voted for Gore!

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